This journal is dead.

I'm dreadfully sorry, but with having to juggle work and school and a life, I am finding it harder and harder to maintain regular posting on this journal for miscellaneous fandom squee. I don't think it's fair to the people on my f-list that I'm not nearly as involved with commenting as I used to be. In LJ world, commenting constitutes almost the entirety of relationships and I do care about many of you, but I don't think I have the time anymore to put in as much effort as I know you deserve.

Nowadays, it's only realistic for me to commit to one journal -- my real-life one -- and I'll be using that one for everything from now on, including fandom. However, it unfortunately comes with a lot of real-life garbage too. If you're not okay with that, then I wish you only the very best as you undertake the rest of your life.

Happy holidays!

P.S: I will still be involved with seventeen_0409 -- the community is still my baby, and it will always have a special place in my heart. ♥

I've cut mostly dead journals, but for the ones that I know still have people behind them:

I can't do it anymore. I can't care for you if you don't care for me back. It's exhausting. It's unfair. I came into this prepared to like you, prepared to care about you and take all the hits that would come with that, in the spirit of being friends. Because that's what friends do. They keep getting up, and they keep going, even when it hurts - because it's a mutual thing, something they're in together. It's in the name of friendship. But do we have that?

Thinking about you makes my heart hurt. I've wasted so many hours thinking of you, thinking of what possible reason you could have to distrust me - and I can't find any. I know I've already said this to you, but I've never given you a reason not to trust me. I couldn't lie to you even once, just three little words (the words I checked later), and yet you say you can't trust me. I can't take it. I was shaking, sweating, my heart beating incredibly quickly and fearfully as I repeatedly typed those words, hovering over the enter key and knowing what it could do to any trust you had in me if I did lie to you. And I didn't. I didn't lie. I couldn't.

I said that I would stay, but I think I've grown up enough to realise that's not possible. The time and feelings I'm wasting on you only hurt me. So I'm moving on.

If you want to talk it out, then message me. We can try again. But remember the key word in that sentence is try. You will have to put forth effort, too. If you don't find it's worth the effort, then remove me.

To everyone I kept: I feel like we're good friends, or I want to make it work. If you feel differently and/or would like to remove me, I'd appreciate a pm first so that I know why. I'm very attached to some of you (or think I could be, in time) and it would hurt to see you go without a word.

REASON WHY I AM NOT IN BED LIKE I SHOULD HAVE BEEN AN HOUR AGO.



WHEN I AM NOT WORKING OR STUDYING I WILL WRITE ROCKSTAR!SUNGMIN AND IT WILL BE TRASHY. NOT SO RANDOMLY SHIPPING NICKHUN/SUNGMIN. SUNGMIN/WORLD. FMLFMLFMLFMLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

ONE OF THE REASONS WHY I AM IN A CAPSTUCK CONVERSATION WITH coiled_iris. SECOND BEING WE WANT TO KNOW WHERE IS THE PORN FIC IN WHICH HEECHUL TOPS.

ALSO, BLAMING MY RECENT INSOMNIA ON RYEOWOOK'S CATCHY INSOMNIA SOLO. THIS IS WHY I DON'T LIKE CLUB MUSIC. IT IS DUMB AS FUCK AND GETS STUCK IN YOUR HEAD.